Turnabout's fair play

Ok, I’m going to time-travel a little bit and relay a story from a month ago I keep meaning to tell but keep forgetting to. My fantastic dad had a milestone birthday in May. Seeing as how I have vacation days to take but no one around here to take them with on a regular basis, I thought my family and friends in Tennessee was a pretty good reason to take a day off. (Not bemoaning my circumstances; just explaining.) I have to back up for one moment and tell the best birthday present I ever got.

Nathan & I moved to Kansas City in January of 2001. I was getting homesick for my family by July. My birthday is in August. We found an apartment and everything was fine. Towards the middle or end of July, Nathan said we ought to look into buying a couch. I was fine with that, so we went shopping. He really wanted a sleeper sofa for some reason. That was fine. I didn’t understand, but I didn’t object. We found a couple but they were going to take up to eight weeks to be delivered. I didn’t care, but Nathan said that was too long. Let me interject – I was oblivious. I am kind of dense and don’t put two and two together very well sometimes. So, we finally find a satisfactory, affordable, sleeper-sofa that can be delivered in a timeframe that satisfies Nate. All’s well.

My birthday rolls around and he has bought me a gift certificate for a facial at a spa. I was pretty excited. I go & have my facial. Then I was supposed to go get my driver’s license. (It expired on my birthday.) I called him & asked if he wanted me to swing by and pick him up on my way to the DMV and then we could just leave from there to go to lunch. He said no, just do the DMV then come back. I had no reason to object or suspect anything. So I went to the DMV, got the license, then got back to the apartment. I didn’t see Nathan’s car in the parking lot, so I was a little confused. I open the door and he’s standing in the hall with the camera in his hands ready to take my picture. I was incredibly confused until I looked over to my left and saw my mom & dad standing in our kitchen! He surprised me by having my parents fly in for my birthday. He borrowed a van from some relatives to tote them around. He picked them up from the airport while I was getting my facial. I was given my family as a present. Needless to say, I was speechless. I was so giddy it was ridiculous. After I got over the shock, I suggest we ALL go to lunch. Dad said, “why don’t you open your present first?” I said, “No, I’ll open it when we get back.” He said, “I really think you should open it now.” I agreed. They told me it was in the guest room. I open the door and my brother & sister-in-law are standing there! Now the sleeper-sofa and larger vehicle finally make sense to me. I was given even more family as a present. So, that was the best gift I ever got.

Back to the present (well, May of 2009 at least.) I told Mom a few months ago I’d like to come home for Dad’s birthday. Then we decided to see if we could pull it off as a surprise. I bought my ticket in February and tried to keep my mouth shut. It wasn’t easy and I made a couple of slip-ups. But Dad didn’t notice or pick up on it. (I come by my obliviousness honestly, at least!) J I was trying to think of a way to make it so he wouldn’t have a clue. I suggested Mom take Dad out to breakfast for his birthday and pick me up at the airport afterwards. My flight was scheduled to land around 8:30 so Mom said, “Why don’t we pick you up on the way TO breakfast?” This did make more sense. But there’s no restaurant out by the airport that Mom would take Dad to. So we decided to get even sneakier. We had someone else pick me up and take me to the restaurant Mom would take Dad to – keep him off-guard as long as possible.

Dad tells Mom the Monday of his birthday week that he has a meeting on Friday, his birthday with a couple of guys. We were afraid we would have to spill the beans. But Mom kept her cool and told Dad she wanted to take him to breakfast on his birthday before all the craziness ensued and would he schedule it for mid-morning and at least let her do that. He, of course, agreed. So, the plan was back on. Friday morning rolls around. The plane lands. And I called Dad as I was disembarking to “wish him a happy birthday before he gets too busy throughout the day and what with the party that night and all…” I tell him about the weather we’re having in Kansas City. All the typical stuff. I throw in a little “I hope your present gets there today. I’m really bad at timing the mail. You’ll have to let me know when you get it…” I was feeling very excited and proud of myself. I knew I was going to pull it off!

I get picked up and we arrive at the restaurant. I wander around the dining area, rolling luggage in tow, looking for Mom and Dad. They weren’t there yet. So my ride and I crouch behind some souvenirs and trinkets in the gift shop watching the door. They arrived shortly thereafter. Mom knows we’re here and tells Dad she needs to run to the restroom. Dad offers to go get a table but Mom asks him to wait. Mom leaves. Dad is standing not two feet away looking through stuff. I straighten up, walk around the display corner, and just stand there for a moment. Dad turns and sees me. For a moment, he has the look on his face of “I’m trying to reconcile my worlds. That looks like my daughter but I’m pretty sure I’m in Nashville and I’m pretty sure she’s not here.” His jaw dropped as a huge smile came. I wished him a happy birthday again and gave him a huge hug. It was one of the few times I’ve seen my father rendered speechless. Throughout breakfast, he had this absolutely precious stunned by happy smile. I can relate. I had that same look on my face throughout lunch about 8 years earlier. I got to give my dad his family as a present.

Turnabout’s fair play. :)

Relay for Life (take 1)

This weekend was, as usual, blessed and ordained by God. Friday night, I joined with six other women from my employer, along with others from the greater Kansas City area in the fight against cancer. I participated in my first (but hopefully not last or only) Relay for Life. This is one of the flagship fundraising events for the American Cancer Society. It's an all-night, 12-hour walk, with the goal being to have a member of each team walking on the track at all times. The seven of us set up camp, had tons of food, played games, and walked our little heinies off. There were numerous other teams there as well. None of us from our team had ever participated in this event before. I think I speak for all of us and say it was a powerful, impactful, and moving experience we all hope to do again. We each probably walked at least 3 or 4 hours. And we are so grateful to have participated.

Yes, I was a very sleepy girl by the time I got back home at 6 o'clock Saturday morning. I was awake for more than 24 hours, with the exception of a 20-minute nap about 3 o'clock in the morning. The event included a very moving luminary ceremony in which candles in paper bags line the track and are lit. Each bag and candle has the name of someone that is or has battled cancer being honored, supported, or memorialized, a visible tribute by loved ones. Other moving moments included hearing the stories of survivors and those that have fought cancer.

These events occur throughout the country and year. I am nervous but honored as I have been asked to speak at another Relay for Life event this coming Friday night. I will share the story of Nathan and me, from my perspective as a caregiver. It was very humbling to be asked. I covet your prayers that God will be able to use this opportunity He's presented me. I don't want to get in His way.

Graduation weekend

Well, I'm all graduated. I don't yet have my degree (I still have one little ole class to take or clep test to pass.) Mom and Dad came in first thing Friday morning. We spent the day running around getting things for the party and just being together. Mom & I went to a concert together Friday night & had a wonderful time. (Don't worry - there was a basketball game on to occupy Dad.)

Saturday morning we got up & drove to the convention center, I registered, then Mom & Dad left to go find their seats. It was nice to see some former classmates & professors. It was also a bit strange and lonesome standing there, alone with my thoughts in a crowd of people celebrating. I missed Nate very much. Then the procession started - with a fife and drum corp. Nathan & I both very much loved fifes & drums. So, as the pipes are playing, I'm standing in line getting misty-eyed, knowing how Nate would have loved this. I pulled myself together enough to walk in and take my seat. The commencement exercises were lovely; the speakers were excellent. But the keynote speaker sent me over the edge at one point.

She was talking about her father, who passed away four years ago, and the time he was in the hospital as his time approached. Though she was struggling to see him in his condition, he was encouraging her and giving her strength. He called her to crawl up on the bed and lay her head on his shoulder. That brought back such a flood of memories for me of my time with Nate - curling up next to him in his bed at the hospital; falling asleep that last night while sitting in my chair pushed against his bed with my head resting on his shoulder. That made me lose it. The tears start to flow. But this is still before the walk across the stage. I fought to compose myself so I wouldn't cry too hard. I didn't mind the tears falling. I did not, however, want the mascara to run so much that I looked like Alice Cooper as my name was called and I crossed the stage in front of all those people. I managed to get through the rest of the ceremony without major incidence (i.e. tripping on the stupid gown or anything.)

I met up with my parents, as well as Nathan's grandmother & step-grandfather afterwards. I thought it was so precious that they came to the ceremony. We visited for a bit, then headed out. Once in the car, the waterworks started and this time, I didn't care. Mascara or no, I let the tears fall as they may. I touched the rings on my chain, reached back & clung to Mom's hand, and just cried for a moment. I know Nathan was with me. I know Nathan is proud of me. I know Nathan loves me. The day was certainly more sweet than bitter, but I missed getting to see his bright blue eyes smiling at me. I also couldn't help but think of my grandfather (Mom's dad) to whom education was so critically important. I know he was proud of me, too.

It was nice to have people dropping in and out over a couple of hours to say hi and wish me well that afternoon. Then the three of us went out for a celebratory dinner, which was fabulous. We walked around the Plaza for a bit, then came home and crashed. Sunday after church, Dad & I hit the driving range for a bit. It was such a pleasure this weekend to have a great visit with both of them together & get some very cool one-on-one time with each of them enjoying different activities. In some regards, I am very much my father's daughter. In other ways, I am every bit my mother. And in some things, I am a quirky nut with traits no one takes the blame, I mean credit, for. I like that.

Overall, it was an excellent weekend that ended too soon.